Mamabear,
First, good on you for making the choice to walk away from you father. I did too, for similar reasons, and my life has only been better and more zen because of it! That is bravery at its best and you should be proud of yourself for it.
Second, You are an amazing beautiful person, and the only person you need to forgive is yourself — people who bring negativity and hate into your life, and your daughters life, have absolutely no right to be in it. You are the creator of your happiness, and you have nothing to apologize for you you choose to participate in your journey. One day, your daughter is going to understand why you made these decisions, and she is going to thank you for it.
I’m only 19, but I always think, what will my future husband or children think about me shutting my father out of my life? Will they think its mean? Will they think that I’the negative and toxic person?
Worry is the worst thing we can do. We must look forward with hope and courage that the people who are in our lives are there for a reason. They come and go. But the person who stays, is YOU. You have the power. It is in your hands. What you choose to make of it, is entirely up to you!
Hope my rhetoric was of some use to you! Much love to you!
Tina